Latest posts

•  The silence is shattered - and so am I
  I?ve recently been a bit absent from the blog on account of the fact that I had a baby seven weeks ago. Firstly, I can?t believe that nobody ever told me they?re not actually delivered by storks. Secondly, I can?t believe that nobody ever told me how much they actually seem to enjoy crying. I mean ...
  Fri, 27 Nov 2009 04:55:00
•  Cross dresser on a cross trainer ...
  Yet another wonderfully confusing Aussie advert, this one from Contours Gym. I simply had to write to them to thank them. 'Thank you Contours! I can't tell you how delighted I was to see your ad for 'Secret Women's Fitness'. I've been a transvestite for five years now and have always struggled when ...
  Sat, 12 Sep 2009 14:26:00
•  The marsupial of madness
  Often one of the first things a psychiatrist will ask, immediately after the strait jacket restraints have been tightened a notch and a second layer of padding has been added to a cell, is, ?What sort of a childhood did you have?? Most of the time, the person being asked this question can?t answer,...
  Sun, 09 Aug 2009 05:59:00
•  The Meth Man Prophecies
  Let me tell you that butter-fingers and chemicals do not go well together ? a fact we discovered two weeks ago when we returned home to be greeted by an unholy stench. My parents were staying with us at the time, so we retired inside to allow my mother to make a spaghetti bolognaise (after all, it?s...
  Sat, 16 May 2009 16:04:00
•  An icy reception
  The other day I heard an odd ringing coming from the street ? it was a cross between the sound a rusty school bell might make and the sort of noise that would undoubtedly have precede the cry, ?Bring out your dead? in 17th century London. I have only heard a noise like that once before, back in 198...
  Wed, 18 Mar 2009 13:27:00